Yevon's Surprise
by Sai Rei
Summary: It was destiny... when the weakbladdered Besaid Aurochs captain Wakka goes to relieve himself in the locker room lavs, he finds something even more infuriating than those damn buttons on the blitzball uniform... Sekka!
1. The horror that lurks in the bathroom…

**Yevon's Surprise**

**Disclaimer: **sadly I do not own any characters from FF10 or any other Final Fantasy (*drool* squall…), they still belong to Square *sigh*

There is a guest appearance of Nya Mayjan, she belongs to Rae Leaver and I'm dedicating this story to her as it was her idea to get me to make a story. *Waves* ello Rae!!! 

**Chapter one- The horror that lurks in the bathroom…******

"So…Today's the big day, ya?"  Wakka was once again pestering Tidus about the Blitzball tournament, "remember you're playing for us ya? I saw you eyeing up the Al Bhed Psyches." He waved his finger at the exasperated player, while giving him a suspicious look.

"Look, I was only trying to ask Berrik whether or not he had a spare set of those cool goggles!!! I wouldn't dare switch sides, especially not after that look Lulu gave me in the changing room. Man…She can be one cold-"

"Heh! Hehehehehe! She was just having a bad day, ya? And she wants you to play for the Besaid Aurochs! We're gonna win this year, ya? VICTORY!!!"

With that, Wakka ran off to the bathroom, whooping and cheering about the Aurochs to everyone in sight, leaving Tidus shaking his head…Squall style.

Wakka burst through the bathroom door and began to fumble with his outfit.

"Damn Aurochs outfit…so many buttons, ya?" 

"What? I didn't ask for my hair gel yet…"

Wakka spun round, to see a half dressed Seymour trying to dry his wet hair…

"Woah!!! Maester Seymour?! Why are you in the Aurochs bathroom?" He was so shocked he forgot his trademark "ya?" at the end of his sentence.

Seymour slowly turned round, and his eyes showed the shock and horror of seeing Wakka with half of his trouser buttons undone. "And what were you doing, entering this bathroom when someone was in it?" 

Wakka just stood there open mouthed. "Well, I didn't know…I needed to go before the tournament started ya?" He then realised that he was standing half dressed in front of a grand Maester and immediately began fumbling with the buttons of his trousers trying to keep any remaining dignity he had left.

Seymour gave an exasperated sigh "well, I had to use this poor excuse of a bathroom because some klutz who was running down the hallway yelling something about victory bashed right into me and made me spill my chocolate milk down myself, and this being the closest bathroom I could find, I had to clean myself here before I opened the tournament with Maester Mika"  

Seymour began to file his long nails as he waited for Wakka to dress himself. Finally, Wakka stood up and slowly backed away to the door, and to escape from the humiliation. Not that it would get any easier when Kimahri found out. Damn Rhonso, always had to be such smartarses… 

He stopped in his train of thought as he heard a clink of the lock behind him, falling out of the door…

Slowly he turned round, to find the door locked but the lock on the floor. The colour drained from his face as he realised. He could be trapped for hours with Maester Seymour, and judging by the look he had given him when he walked in, it was not going to be a pleasant experience… 


	2. When Kinoc’s away…Seymour will play

**Chapter 2- When Kinoc's away…****Seymour**** will play**

****

Seymour gave a small smirk "whatever's the matter Wakka? Lost your way to the door?" he pushed past the frozen Wakka and stopped dead in his tracks "Wait a minute…"

Wakka slunk to the floor "we're trapped. We could be here for hours…"

Seymour turned around with a sly grin "well, I know of something we could do to pass the time away…"

**Half an hour later….**

Wakka gave Seymour a strange look "Maester! For the last time I am **not **playing 'go fish', strip poker style!"

Seymour held out the well worn cards "look it's not hard; I've already explained the rules to you! Maester Kinoc and I play this all the time!" 

Wakka shuddered from the mental image of a scantily clad Maester Kinoc, but quickly pushed the image aside when he saw Seymour advance with a mischievous glint in his eye…

"I'm even going easy on you; I make Maester Kinoc play with dares as well as strip poker style!"   He chuckled "I tried to make Yuna play once, but she only went to her bra, I almost had to-"

"Heh! Hehehehehe! Don't give me anything else to create nightmares from! Ya?" 

Seymour pouted "come on; don't make me order you as a Grand Maester of Yevon. It'll be more fun if you play willingly…" he waved the cards at Wakka in a last attempt to coax him into playing.

Wakka shook his head "no way! I'd rather spend an evening playing dodge ball with those damn Al Bhed Psyches! Ya?" he shuddered "they always throw those poison balls at me really hard ya?" 

Thinking about it he gave a little choked sob, showing how traumatising an experience it had been. Seymour moved closer and gave a comforting squeeze…just not in a comforting place.

Wakka jumped up in the air, clutching his rear end "that is **not a place a Maester should squeeze! Ya?" **

Seymour gave a little sigh "I was only being comforting and supporting." 

His reply was a glare from Wakka "you can be supporting without having to grope my rear end, ya?" 

The mischievous glint in Seymour's eye had reappeared so Wakka hastily backing away as the cards reappeared.

"Oooo go on," Seymour grinned "don't make me beg." 

Wakka shuddered "no, please no" 

Seymour chuckled "Why Wakka, don't you like the idea of a Grand Maester of Yevon begging on his knees?" 

Wakka shook his head, fear in his eyes "I know what you'd do to beg if you got too close" 

Seymour laughed and Wakka gave a small yelp of terror as he closed in on him, shuffling a deck of cards. 


	3. small spaces and strip poker don’t go we...

**Chapter 3- small spaces and strip poker don't go well together**

**A few hours later…**

Seymour grinned as Wakka quickly covered himself up with a towel as he peeled off reluctantly one of his remaining garments. Seymour however, had only taken off a few items of clothing- revealing as they may be.

"See?" Seymour chuckled "Go fish is so much fun and it passes the time away in no time at all" 

Wakka gave a weak smile "hopefully the time will pass so fast we'll be saved any second, ya?" there was a short pause as he gazed longingly at the door "aaaannnny minute" 

Seymour blocked his view and tried to look seductive "well, as someone hasn't burst through the door it seems you still have a dare to do" Wakka groaned and Seymour's eye's lightened up as he thought of an idea

"I know… Your dare is…" he grinned wickedly "remove your towel" 

Wakka yelped and grabbed his towel, clutching it as if it were his only lifeline "nooo way Seymour, you got to be kidding, ya?"

Suddenly Seymour leapt from where he was sitting and pounced on Wakka, grabbing the towel and ripping it from his grasp. Wakka's hands instinctively went straight to covering up his dignity as Seymour gave a long whistle.

"My, that's a nice body you've got there big boy" he smirked 

Wakka glared at Seymour "I'm not interested in flirting with you…now gimme my towel back, ya?!!!" 

Seymour chuckled and waved the towel just out of reach. Wakka gave a small growl of annoyance and leapt on Seymour, dignity forgotten.  Seymour gave a yelp of surprise and staggered back, wrestling with a naked Wakka on top of him for possession of the towel when he stumbled back and fell, but before he hit the floor, he stopped, wedged in the doorway of the shower.

He looked at Wakka who was lying on top of him "as much as I would enjoy this situation under different circumstances, I don't suppose you could get off me and help me up? 

Wakka struggled and shuddered with every motion that made Seymour giggle "I can't move…even with the amount of willpower I have" 

Just then there was a knock at the door "Rammu? Ec Berrik eh drana? Edc ouin meddma muja-geddah!"

Wakka went pale. Not the Al Bhed, if they saw him like this… this was not going to be easy to explain.

 He heard Seymour stifle a laugh under him. Wakka glared "What?! This is no time to laugh! Ya?"

Seymour chuckled "she said 'Hello? Is Berrik in there? It's your little love-kitten!'" 

Wakka had to stifle a laugh. Berrick had a sex kitten? Tidus would be jealous when he found out…

Suddenly the door handle began to jerk as 'sex-kitten' began to try and open the door. The colour drained from both of their faces as the door began to groan open, and standing there was an Al Bhed, horror on her face. 

"AAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" As soon as she saw the pair in their uncomfortable positions she was off running down the corridor. The pair could hear her cry out "E tet hud caa dryd! E tet hud caa dryd!! BERRIK!!!! CYJA SA!!!!!" 

Wakka gave Seymour a puzzled look "do you know what she just said?" 

Seymour gave a nod, which, due to the circumstances, Wakka cringed "She ran out screaming for Berrik saying she did not see us in our *cough* unfortunate circumstance" he giggled and was hit by Wakka "this is not funny!!! We are stuck with me naked on top of you for anyone to see!!! Ya?" 

Seymour grinned "I know…fun isn't it?" 

Wakka hastily changed subject "how do you know Al Bhed anyway? And who was she? Ya?" 

Seymour chuckled "She was the person who taught me Al Bhed…And how to play Go Fish actually. Her name is Nya Mayjan and well…I won't go into details about how I know her" he smirked. 

Wakka suddenly wished he hadn't asked.  

**An hour later…**

Wakka had drifted off to sleep lying on Seymour, being as there was nothing else for him to do. He was having terrible nightmares of him being forced to play 'Go Fish' with Maester Seymour and Maester Kinoc, Yuna in her bra and that damn Al Bhed…

Seymour, on the other hand was lying quietly contemplating how he would tell Kinoc about his little lurve slave, he giggled in glee as he thought of how jealous he'd be.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Wakka woke up and gave a small scream of terror before he remembered where he was. As the door opened he began to struggle desperately to get free when he heard a familiar voice…

"Kimahri thought Wakka liked playing games…Kimahri see Wakka likes playing games very much" he chuckled as Wakka turned crimson.

"Woah Wakka! I wondered where you went while we were playing…I wish I hadn't!" Wakka groaned, not Tidus too? This will take forever to explain.

"Look, Maester Seymour forced me to play this stupid game, ya? And well, we kinda got stuck and…"

Seymour giggled…again "Yes, Wakka is my lurve slave…didn't you know? I had to find a replacement for Yuna because well…" 

He was interrupted by Tidus as he fell on the floor laughing.

Wakka looked as he saw the rest of the gang standing there dumbfounded by shock "umm…anyone got any Vaseline handy? Please?"

***Author's note* tadaa! I didn't know how to end it so sorry about the crappy ending! Hope you like!!! **

***random thought* I wish I owned Squall….*drool* or Laguna would be nice……..**

****


End file.
